Mom, Stepmom… What is the Big Difference?

022bb2e560af8f39f35c19cb280a5e7e-300x209

Have you ever wondered the difference between a Mom and Stepmom?

Let me break it down:

MOM

Cooks

Cleans

Helps with Homework

Carpools to School

Organizes Life

Shoulder to Lean On

Encourages

Worries

Attends Games and Performances

Supports her Child’s Dreams and Goals

Puts her Children Before Herself

Loves her Children More then the World

Gave Birth to Her Children

STEPMOM

Cooks

Cleans

Helps with Homework

Carpools to School

Organizes Life

Shoulder to Lean On

Encourages

Worries

Attends Games and Performances

Supports her Step-Child’s Dreams and Goals

Puts her Step-Children Before Herself

Loves her Step-Children More then the World

Did Not Give Birth to her Step-Children

Funny, right? A stepmom does EVERYTHING that a Mother does (and in my case, as well as many of you I have had the opportunity to speak to, actually pick up the slack where the Mother drops the ball) besides the physical act of actually giving birth to the child they are raising.  As step-mothers, we do these things whether the Mother does or not.  It is out of love for our step-children and husbands.  We take pride in raising our families.

Am I the only one who gets frustrated at the lack of recognition?  Not that I do any of these things for credit, thanks, or recognition.  But when what I get in return is the OPPOSITE of recognition, and instead turns into blame and criticism, it is hard not to want to just cry and wonder what you ever did to deserve such disrespect.  All we have done is fall in love with someone who has children, and in turn have fallen in love with the little extensions of the man we love.  Why are we at fault for that?

I try to focus on staying positive and the fact that I under NO CIRCUMSTANCE require the approval of my stepson’s mother.  The only approval I seek is that of my husband, which he gives me often.  It is hard though at times.  I sometimes wish and pray that one morning my stepson’s mother will wake up and realize all of the good things I do and will appreciate and embrace me in his life.  I do however realize that the chances of this happening are slim to none.  So, focusing on my own life and those that do appreciate and love me, allow me to push this to the side and focus on what is really important – Family.

Do you ever feel the same way? Do you ever find yourself seeking the approval of Bio-Mom and wondering why you even care?  How do you cope with it?

Please share your comments and don’t forget to follow the blog.

Advertisements

One thought on “Mom, Stepmom… What is the Big Difference?

  1. Jo says:

    I am happy to have found this although I am not a stepmom, yet. Soon it will be happening. I am ready to say, “yes,” to a man who has a child. The two of them are great and I am unconditionally in love with the both of them. I have found myself being all that I can be for both of, “the guys,” and have tried to be a positive influence for not only them but for my SO’s exwife. She has not returned the favor unfortunately. I’ve been called all sorts of things by her. She has tried to befriend me, fight with me and plead with me to stay out of her son’s life all the while claiming she isn’t over her marriage. I stupidly felt pity and wanted to appease everyone involved. What I forgot was to include myself and my wants in the equation. It is still a hard battle for me. I want her affirmation that it is ok for me to be in her son and exhusband’s lives but that is far fetched. Why do we have to chase after the “go ahead” from a woman who no longer gets to call the shots in her EXhusband’s life? If he can move on from her then why can’t we?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s